You’re staring at a positive pregnancy test and you’re not sure how you feel.

Maybe you wanted this. Maybe you didn’t. Maybe you’re not sure how you feel. You’re excited and scared at the same time. You might love the idea of this baby and feel excited, but you also might feel worried about what’s to come. Pregnant people and expecting parents are allowed to feel all the emotions — not just the positive ones.

You're not the only one

There's a story we’re often told about how you're supposed to feel when you find out you're pregnant: overjoyed, tearful in a good way, immediately certain, ready. When your experience and feelings don’t match that image, it can feel like you’ve failed somehow.

Many people don’t share with others the full list of emotions they’re feeling during pregnancy. And because nobody's talking about it openly, it's easy to believe you're the only one going through it, and to wonder if there’s something wrong about the way you’re feeling.

In reality, mixed feelings about pregnancy are very common. This can be a surprise because many people edit themselves and only share what they think they're supposed to feel.

When mixed feelings feel overwhelming

Life doesn’t pause because you’re pregnant, and you may be experiencing overwhelming feelings while dealing with other life stressors. Having mixed feelings does not mean you have a mental health problem, but having someone to talk to during this time may help protect your wellbeing while you’re coping with these feelings, especially when there are other stressful things happening.

If you have a history of anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions, you may be more likely to find pregnancy emotionally difficult and find value in seeking out support.

If you're not sure what options might be available to you, our Service Finder can connect you with perinatal mental health support in your area.

What you can do with these feelings right now

You don’t have to figure this out or fix it. How you feel right now is not a prediction of how you’ll feel as this pregnancy continues. Feelings change.

Many people find that once they’ve shared their feelings with one person, it stops feeling like something they have to hide.