You don't have to do this alone: Finding support in the early weeks

You can have people nearby and still feel alone

It’s possible to look well-supported from the outside, with a partner at home, family nearby and friends checking in, and still feel profoundly unsupported underneath it.

Often it comes down to this: the support that showed up wasn’t quite the support you needed. For example:

Support doesn’t have to mean someone to talk to. For a lot of parents, the biggest day-to-day challenges are more basic and often look more practical than anything else: getting enough sleep, taking care of yourself and keeping up with household chores. A meal, a load of laundry, someone holding the baby while you shower — these can go a long way.

How people go about getting support can look different too. This is shaped by family, culture or community. There’s no single "right" support network, just the question of what’s available to you, and how to use it in a way that works for you.

Asking for help is harder than it sounds

Many parents stay quiet with the people closest to them, not because they don’t want help, but because asking can feel risky. You might hold back because:

• You don’t want to seem like you can’t cope
• You worry about being judged or getting advice you didn’t ask for
• You don’t want to be a burden to someone else
• You’re not sure what to ask for It gets easier with practice and when you have the words ready. Try being specific:

Asking for a meal

Asking for rest

Specific asks are easier for people to say yes to and easier for you to make.

A simple way to think about support

Building a support network doesn’t mean you have to have it all figured out. It can help to break your support down into a few categories, and reflect on each.