The gap between the story and reality
You're supposed to glow. You're supposed to feel wonder at what your body is doing. But for many, that isn’t the reality.
Some people may feel glowy, but many feel something much more complicated. Your body is changing in ways that may be happening faster, slower or differently than you expected. Weight shifts. Skin stretches. At every prenatal appointment, your weight is recorded and noted. That alone can make your body feel like a focal point. And in a culture saturated with pressure around beauty standards, it's understandable that this may bring up a mix of emotions.
This constant focus on your body, and on weight gain or loss, can come with judgemental and stigmatizing messages that strip much of the joy from pregnancy, particularly for those living in larger bodies.
For individuals with a history of eating disorders or body dysmorphia, these changes can be especially distressing. Pregnancy may bring up old thoughts, fears and coping patterns that they thought were long behind them.
What it can look like
Body image difficulty in pregnancy doesn't always show up the way you might expect. It isn't only about appearance. Research suggests pregnancy doesn't protect against body dissatisfaction, and in fact overall levels are comparable to those in non-pregnant people. During pregnancy, functional experience matters more — how your body moves, and what it can and can't do.
Comments from others can add to this, even when they’re well-meaning. Constant remarks about your size, shape or changing body can make a body that once felt private suddenly feel very public. You didn't necessarily sign up for that.
even by people you love
Why "just appreciate your body" doesn't always help
You've probably heard some version of this: love your body for what it's doing. Focus on the miracle. Be grateful.
That message doesn’t help. And when it's the only thing available, it can make the difficulty feel like an emotional failure stacked on top of a physical one.
When it connects to something more
What can help?
First, know that you don’t have to love every change happening to your body in order to appreciate what it’s doing.
References
This article was developed using sourced educational content from Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Trainings (CPMHT), and informed by the collective knowledge and expertise of CPMHT professionals and Karen Clarke, BA, MSW, RSW, Doula (Open Book Doula, Counselling and Consulting Services), as well as the following cited research and clinical practice guidelines:
Canadian Network for Mood and Anxiety Treatments (CANMAT). Seeds of Hope: Nurturing Mental Health and Managing Perinatal Mood, Anxiety, and Related Disorders — A Patient and Family Guide. CANMAT: 2024.
Fuller-Tyszkiewicz, M. et al. "A Network Analysis Comparison of Central Determinants of Body Dissatisfaction among Pregnant and Non-Pregnant Women." Body Image 32 (2020): 111–20.
Linde, K. et al. "Course and Prediction of Body Image Dissatisfaction during Pregnancy: A Prospective Study." BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth 22 (2022): 719.
Shea, A. et al. "Guideline No. 454: Identification and Treatment of Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders." Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canada 46, no. 10 (2024): 102696.
Matrescence: Becoming a mother/parent
Becoming a parent shifts your body, identity and inner world all at once. That transition has a name, and knowing it can help.
Birth trauma: When expectations don’t meet reality
A difficult birth can stay with you even when you and baby are healthy. How it felt matters, and support makes a real difference.