You don't have to face a miscarriage alone. When you feel ready, reach out to someone: a friend, family member or other support person.
What may be seen clinically as "just a miscarriage" is, for the person and partners experiencing it, the loss of something already deeply held: of hope, of possibility, of a future already being imagined. It might also be one loss in a long string of losses and disappointments that colour so many fertility journeys.
Many people describe feeling dismissed in emergency or urgent care settings, where pregnancy loss is sometimes treated as routine or minimized. While it may be common, most early losses don’t get the specialized support and care they need and deserve. The fact that it’s common doesn't mean it isn’t impactful or emotional. And for those going through fertility treatment, each pregnancy represents months or years of effort, grief and hope.
Something worth knowing
Your experience of care is about more than just medicine.
People's experiences of pregnancy loss, including how they’re treated by healthcare systems, are not equal. Race, gender identity, sexual orientation, ability, age, socioeconomic status, geographic location, medical history and the relationship between patient and healthcare provider all affect whether someone feels seen, believed and supported in a medical setting.
If you’ve ever felt dismissed, disbelieved or like your loss "didn't count," that experience may reflect real gaps in how your care is being delivered. You deserve to be treated with respect. Not feeling validated or seen in your grief or struggle can impact your mental health, leading to reproductive trauma. If you’d like to talk to someone about this, please visit our Service Finder to find support available to you in your area.
You might be wondering
References
This article was developed using sourced educational content from Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Trainings (CPMHT), and informed by the collective knowledge and expertise of CPMHT professionals and Karen Clarke, BA, MSW, RSW, Doula (Open Book Doula, Counselling and Consulting Services), as well as the following cited research and clinical practice guidelines:
Bohren, Meghan A., Aditi Iyer, Aluisio J. D. Barros, Caitlin R. Williams, Alya Hazfiarini, Luisa Arroyave, Veronique Filippi, Catherine Chamberlain, Tamar Kabakian-Khasholian, Kaveri Mayra, Roopan Gill, Joshua P. Vogel, Doris Chou, Asha S. George, and Olufemi T. Oladapo. "Towards a Better Tomorrow: Addressing Intersectional Gender Power Relations to Eradicate Inequities in Maternal Health." eClinicalMedicine 67 (2023): 102180. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eclinm.2023.102180.
Cuenca, Diana. "Pregnancy Loss: Consequences for Mental Health." Frontiers in Global Women's Health 3 (2023): 1032212. https://doi.org/10.3389/fgwh.2022.1032212.
Galeotti, Martina, Gary Mitchell, Mark Tomlinson, and Áine Aventin. "Factors Affecting the Emotional Wellbeing of Women and Men Who Experience Miscarriage in Hospital Settings: A Scoping Review." BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth 22 (2022): Article 270. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-022-04585-3.
Hutti, Marianne H., John Myers, Lynne A. Hall, Barbara J. Polivka, Susan White, Janice Hill, Elizabeth Kloenne, Jaclyn Hayden, and Meredith McGrew Grisanti. "Predicting Grief Intensity after Recent Perinatal Loss." Journal of Psychosomatic Research 101 (2017): 128–34. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2017.07.016.
Quenby, Siobhan, Ioannis D. Gallos, Rima K. Dhillon-Smith, Marcelina Podesek, Mary D. Stephenson, Joanne Fisher, Jan J. Brosens, Jane Brewin, Rosanna Ramhorst, Emma S. Lucas, Rajiv C. McCoy, Robert Anderson, Shahd Daher, Lesley Regan, Maya Al-Memar, Tom Bourne, David A. MacIntyre, Raj Rai, Ole B. Christiansen, Mayumi Sugiura-Ogasawara, Joshua Odendaal, Adam Devall, Phillip R. Bennett, Stavros Petrou, and Arri Coomarasamy. "Miscarriage Matters: The Epidemiological, Physical, Psychological, and Economic Costs of Early Pregnancy Loss." The Lancet 397, no. 10285 (2021): 1658–67. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(21)00682-6.
Late-term miscarriage (12–20 weeks)
A loss at this stage is real and significant, for your body and your heart. There's no timeline, and support exists.
When loss and new life coexist: grief during pregnancy
You can be happily pregnant and grieving at the same time. Both are real and do not cancel each other out.